Truly I have waited for a moment like this. The moment when you have finally seen that everything fits. And that all of the things you have yearned and hoped for has finally came true. I never thought that it could be truly possible, never thought it would happen. Love caught me by surprise and indeed I could testify that good things come to those who know how to wait.
For three years I have been asking God for someone to love. And impatiently I grew and had it my way. The past so- called relationship I had left broken and he left me broken. I got tired and had lost hope in love. Funny because out of the confusion that is going on in my life ... there is only one recurring vision .. and I never thought that the face I see was the person who I would be spending most my time here now ...
I thank God for giving you to me, I thank Him allowing me to see, and I thank Him even more for giving me hope to wait for something great ... for now I have someone to love & someone to share with.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Sunday, September 02, 2007
I've had so many people tell me in this life time that they never really understood the kind of person I am. I'm as open as a book, and as closed as a closet. I'm there, yet, I'm not. You can't ignore me, but you sense the lack of my existance.
People can trust me with their deepest secrets and troubles, yet at the same time, they're hesitant to approach me. My silence has always been considered a weakness in times when individuals feel that I need to speak up and defend myself. What yet seems to surprise me is the fact that, even after 23 years of living this fancinating life, haven't people really known the kind of person I am?
I'm called and chattered upto whenever I'm needed. And there are times, where I feel like I've been existing in a world that's really not my own. The people around me aren't my own. I love yet at the same time, hate them as well. The reason for both these emotions is a mystery to me as well. Till this date, I've still not been able to figure it out.
What exactly do I want from life? What is it that people want from me? I want to be around the people I love and care about, but something in me always keeps saying that their feelings for me aren't real. I'm not pitying myself, but why is there this want of mine to get away from everyone I know? Why do I feel that I need to be alone and live life on my own conditions and terms? Its not like i'm restricted in a lot of ways at the moment.
Why is it that I like sunsets? The drowing of powerful body such as a sun, always makes me feel as though thats a reinterpretation of my relationships with the people around me. They die and live as each day passes by. They're beautiful, but somehow always manage to create a sadness around them.
As big as a mystery people may consider me to be...there's something that even I've never been able to understand myself. That one thing is....me.
People can trust me with their deepest secrets and troubles, yet at the same time, they're hesitant to approach me. My silence has always been considered a weakness in times when individuals feel that I need to speak up and defend myself. What yet seems to surprise me is the fact that, even after 23 years of living this fancinating life, haven't people really known the kind of person I am?
I'm called and chattered upto whenever I'm needed. And there are times, where I feel like I've been existing in a world that's really not my own. The people around me aren't my own. I love yet at the same time, hate them as well. The reason for both these emotions is a mystery to me as well. Till this date, I've still not been able to figure it out.
What exactly do I want from life? What is it that people want from me? I want to be around the people I love and care about, but something in me always keeps saying that their feelings for me aren't real. I'm not pitying myself, but why is there this want of mine to get away from everyone I know? Why do I feel that I need to be alone and live life on my own conditions and terms? Its not like i'm restricted in a lot of ways at the moment.
Why is it that I like sunsets? The drowing of powerful body such as a sun, always makes me feel as though thats a reinterpretation of my relationships with the people around me. They die and live as each day passes by. They're beautiful, but somehow always manage to create a sadness around them.
As big as a mystery people may consider me to be...there's something that even I've never been able to understand myself. That one thing is....me.
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