RIVERMAYA GIG: CANCELLED

Ang excitement ko nauwi sa INIS.

ang pagdayo ko sa SM North kahapon ay hindi biro.

maulan. mahangin. trapik.

confirmed daw kaya ako nagpunta.

tapos nung nandun na ako sa venue...

CANCELLED pala.

may sakit daw si KUYA RICO

ayos.

sabi pa naman ng mommy ko sa sm tayuman nalang daw ako magpunta at malapit lang..

mahirap daw bumiyahe.

nandun naman daw ang HALE.

hindi pwede dahil ang tagal ko ng absent sa gig ng MAYA.

yun pala sila ang absent.

ouch!

*******************************************************************************

My dad and I had a very big fight over the fone last week. That was the very first time i spoke up. i never really have the tongue to argue with my dad (even to anybody...) regarding THAT matter kahit pa noon.. He started the fire so i got pissed off. I was forced to tell him everything i never intended to. Thank god shortly after, he realized something and he texted me back apologizing.

I did too. SORRY rin. A million SORRY. If only i could shout it over and over again just to prove na hindi ko sinasadya.

Much have been said but i told him how much i appreciate every sacrifice he's doing for us..
and how much i LOVE him...
How much i love our FAMILY (if thats how they wanted to call it)..

=(

two at a time

emo...

paalam o kay tamis na kataga

na bumuhay at nagbigay ng sigla

sa loob kong dukha

na di pinagpala

pipiltin na makabangon

sa pagkakatulog kahapon

mahirapan man sa pag iyak

haharapin ng pusong wasak

****************************************************

matutulog ako ngayong masama ang loob

sa labis na pagdurusa ng damdaming

mula sumikat ang araw ay puro hinanakit ang kasama.

sana sa pagtilaok ng manok

hatid nito'y baong pag asa

TUMATAKBO- "MOJOFLY

laging bigo

laging sawi sa pag-ibig

may balat nga ba ako sa pwet?

mabuti pa ang tindera sa aming kanto

nakakainggit

tl..ang sweet nila ng kanyang nobyo

gusto ko lang maranasang umibig

tamaan ni kupidogusto ko lang maranasan ang langit

tumibok muli ang puso ko

CHORUS:

Tumatakbo ang oras naiiwan na akong panahon

Di na nagbago bawat araw

pare-pareho parang kahapon

May birthday cake ka nga

ngunit wala namang kandila

may christmas tree na malupet

wala naman dekorasyong pansabit

sadyang ganyan ang aking buhay

walang kasing tamlay

ayoko sanang tumandang nag-iisa

(chorus)

tatanggapin na lang baang malupit na tadhana

o kaya'y tatanggapin na lang na ako'y sadyang hindi pinagpala

tigilan na ang drama

punasan na ang luha

*wala na sigurong ibang kantang makakapag-describe sa nararamdaman ko ngayon kung hindi yang kanta na yan. sawing sawi at tagos tagusan. LSS ko yan kahit nananaginip ako sa tanghali.

*what would u do if somebody close to your heart tell you this "BURAHIN MO NA AKO SA FONE MO, BUBURAHIN NA KITA!" ... alam kong mababaw sa iba pero sa akin , mahirap tanaggapin ang mga salitang yan. potah, gagawin niyo ba yung sinabi niya? ano mararamdaman mo? suicide bang matatawag pag gagawin ko nga ang kalimutan siya kahit half of me is telling me not to? is it okey if i still cry for the NTH time?

i had such a great time listening to the album of this girl. my cooling effect siya sa akin na hindi ko maintindihan.
i love the way she sound. try niyo rin =D

************************************************************************

para naman maup-lift yung outlook nga mga lolang katulad ko ito naman ang must have.

yeahboy!!

BITTER OCAMPO

BITTER OCAMPO

im craving for a close human contact for GOD SAKE.. im trying not to be like this but insecurities keeps on hunting me... look parang everybody around already have their cuddling partners, while me? eto, creating my own music without someone to share with. FUCK, ang sakit di ba? i dont want to feel this way, but unfortunately, ang tulad ko ay hindi EXEMPTED.

• si AYN KRISSY found her JAMES YAP and thats KUYA DAN.
• MAMA bear NET and PAPA bear YAS are undeniably getting stronger everyday.
• morCON and AMBOY... five years and still counting...
• Supervisor ODETTE (?), a ministop owner suitor, a blah, and blah, another blah and the list goes on..
• DANICS, happily married.
• EVELYN a former nun-turned-bitch meron na rin.
• JOY dumating na yung pinagnovena niya. kahit daw BINGI pero binigay rin ni lord kahit may kapansanan.
• bestest friend DIANA very much happy with mr. SMART manager..
• ako? PAULA BIANCA FAJARDO A... 21 y/o, unemployed, single bastard and on her way to DESPERATION.

hindi ako BITTER. hindi nga ako BITTER. sinabi ng hindi ako BITTER..

im just an innocent bystander when ever i watched you play.

kill me now or ill go nuts and not be able to conceive people like him.

ilabhimpramis...

SM MALLS

WATER REFILLING STATION, para ring REYES HAIR CUTTERS at VIDEO CITY. kung medyo mataas na level of comparison and rampantness... JOLLIBEE o AMA COMPUTER LEARNING CENTER sa bawat lugar. ang bilang ng mga itoy hinahabol na rin ata ng SM MALLS. kung hindi ako nagkakamali meron ng 12 branches yan dito palang sa metro manila.

• *SM sta cruz- isa sa pinaka una at pinaka ayaw ko sa lahat ng dahil ang fanget ng hitsura at niluma na ng panahon. parang kademo-demolish na saa kalumaan at kasikipan. tuloy pag pumapasok ako dun hindi ako makahinga. (actually ginagawa ko siyang daanan patungong quiapo church.)
• SM harrison..
• SM manila- ang paborits naming puntahan nila mader.
• SM cubao- mas class ng konti to kesa sa SM sta.cruz dahila laging nirerenovate.
• SM sucat- malaaki ang supermarket section kaya astig dito mag grocery.

• SM las pinas- una at huli kong punta dito nung promotion ng TULOY ANG LIGAYA album ng paborito kong banda... RIVERMAYA.. so thats 2-3 years ago i think..
• SM coastal road- ????
• SM mega AB mall- ang pinaka abnormal sa lahat ng SM pero pinaka trip kong puntahan. hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses na akong nagtungo dito pero naeengot pa rin ako... ehehehe
• SM bicutan
• SM north edsa- nung college ko lang nalamman na SM WEST rin pala ang tawag dito. (sabi ng ilang ginagaw na pala yung building 3 nito
• SM makati- daanan ng mga galing glorietta patungong MRT AYALA STATION
• SM sta.mesa-???
• SM farview- from the name itself. far siya sa akin kaya hindi ko pa napupuntahan.
• SM tayuman- ang pinaka latest addition sa SM MALLS at pinaka accessible to sa akin.

.. ayon sa tsismis, ginagawa na rin yung magiging main branch at pinaka sa lahat ng SM. it will be located along Macapagal Road. na tatawaging SM ASIA. (ang alam ko yung place na yun yung dating dagat ng manila bay na tinambakan-- e di malabot pa rin yung ilalaim nun? ganun rin yung ginawa sa navotas at malabon di ba? kaya kahit hindi umuulan eh lumulubog pa rin ito sa baha. at bumaba ang kalidad ng lupa every year ng 1cm?)- medyo O.T.

anyway, tapos may panibagong planong SM na gagawin sa may caloocan kaya malamang kung matutloy yun ang kaibigan kong si diana at ang familia niya eh mawawalan na ng bahay at lupa dahil tuluyan ng bibilin at papalayasin na sila kasama pa ang 2, 000 pamilya sa lugar.

bakit parang gustong gusto ng mga SY bawat lugar magkaroon ng branch ang shoemart? oo ngat maraming trabahong mabubuksan pero san naman nila balak irelocate ang mga taong mawawalan ng bahay at kabuhayan?

it is raining right now, and i am having so many vision regarding sa 2 commercial na napapanood ko ngayon sa TV.

onli in d pilipens:

ive seen this CLOSE UP FLAVALICIOUS COMMERCIAL and guesshuwattt?? toothpaste that are chocolate flavor, lychee and umm....... i forgot the other one. anak ng OTAP. anong lasa nun? hindi ko alam at gustong gusto ko silang bilin lahat. lalo ng yung chocolate Weird but fun! Its more like grownup's kid toothpaste and take note its limited edition.

pangalawa yung website na pinopromote ng KBP. http://www.phil-job.net/. i visited the page at akoy namangha, nagulat at nagulumihanan sa nakitang NAPAKADAMING trabahong nakalagay doon. how come until now i havent found one yet? fakhet

NAPAKADAMING TAO:

mga raliyistang nagkukumahog makarating sa PASEO. mabilis ang bawat lakas nila.

samantalang ang mga tuhod koy halos kaladkadin na ng mga taong bumabangga sa akin. bantulot akot wala sa sariling binabagtas ang kahabaan ng AYALA. hinahanap ko pa rin siya, umaasang masasalubong ko man lang siya sa ganitong pag kakataon.

MAINGAY:

suntok sa buwang madinig ko ang boses niya, sa gitna ng ibat ibang grupong sumisigaw ng kanilang hinaing sa gobyerno. huminto akot tumingala sa kalangitang naghahati sa liwanag at kadiliman. lumilipad ang mga helicopter na kalmadong nagmamatiyag sa bawat kilos ng mga nasa lupa.

ALAALA KO:

muli, eto ako at binabalikan ang nakaraan... ang mga sandaling yun.

malinaw pa rin sa akin, at tulad ng dati bumabalik ang mga pangyayari. habang sa aking pagtayo sa gitna ng daan, ang mga luha ko at pag asa'y nasama na rin sa ulang dulot ng mga pulang trak =(

SUICIDE

since last week two of my friends were discussing to me theri ideas of DEATH particularly SUICIDE.

ISH who happened to have a project with her ehheemmm BOSS kaya she gathered opinion. ny other friend was actually in his BLUES STATE. pareho silang nakaapekto sa panananaw ko about this matter.

usually we hear from people is very often that the person who hangs himself, slive her wrist o kaya uminom ng lason (tulad ng baygon/ alcohol etc) ay sinsabing MAHINA to face and resolve problem. kung hindi naman may SAKIT SA ULO. they refer SUICIDE as INSANITY. but i think a person who commits it may not be the SANEST person on earth though he could be SANER and stronger than most.

sabi ng essay ni DL Generoso na nabasa ko dati "SUICIDE is not limited to killing onself. it can also be acts that put one's life in grave danger, pursuing a life that leads to PREMATURE DEATH or knowingly walking into an INVITAION TO DIE."

kung ganun pala, si NINOY AQUINO nag commit ng suicide. bumalik kasi siya ng pinas despite ng lahat ng warning na pwede siyang iassassinate. mas lalo na siguro si JESUS CHRIST di ba? who went on with his CHRISTIANIZATION of the world,, fully aware that by his acts he would be CRUCIFIED. sensible ba ako?
ibig sabihin rin kasi suicide ring masasabi kung hindi ako laging humahawak sa loob ng JEEPNEY lalo na pag mabilis yung takbo nito kahit na alam kong pwede akong tumalsik sa labas ano mang oras mabangga yung sasakyan. =D


sabi ni ish sa mga pinoy daw yung concept natin ng SUICIDE nag umpisa nung mga bata pa tayo. kasi sa isang taon ng pag -aaral nag coconsume tayo ng 180 days sa pagkanta araw araw ng BAYANG MAGILIW este LUPANG HINIRANG na pinaparating natin sa kanta na lahat tayo ready "MAMATAY NG DAHIL SAYO"... hehehee

dito na kami nag argue. kasi it is dying for a CAUSE. bakit kasi okey mamatay for a cause, for another person, para sa BAYAN? pero hindi pwede sa sarili?

siguro dati hindi ko maintindihan at sarado isipan ko. kasi karamihan din ayaw ng ganito. most of us dont like it because it makes us feel guilty and responsible for the act. somehow lalo na pag factor tayo o related tayo dun sa nag o mag susuicide. i prefer not to look at it that way anymore. id like to think that maybe, they have a more DEFINED and CONCRETE concept, of and a STRONGER FAITH in the AFTERLIFE.

salamat sa mga friends kong ito at ang dami kong natutunan.

=D

THINGS THAT OUR PARENTS TAUGHT US WHEN WE WERE STILL KIDS

1.How to appreciate a job well donemother: "kung kayong dalawa e magpapatayan, doon kayo sa labas! Mga puny*** kayo!kalilinis ko lang ng bahay!"

2. Religionmother: "kapag ung mantsa di natanggal sa carpet, magdasal ka na."

3.Logicmother: "kaya ganyan, dahil sinabi ko"

4. More Logicmother: :Kapag ikaw nalaglag dyan sa bubong, ako lang ang manunuod ng sine"

5. IronyM: "sige ngumalngal ka, bibigyan kitan ng iiyakan mo!"

6. ContortionismM: "tingnan mo nga yang dumi sa likod ng leeg mo, tingnan mo!"

7. Behavior modificationfather: "tatadyakan kita dyan, wag ka ngang nag-uumarte dyan na parang nanay mo!"

8. Anticipationm: "tang'na kang bata ka! hintayin mong makarating tayo sa bahay...!"

9.HumorM: "kapag naputol yang mga paa mo sa lawn mower, wag na wag kang tatakbo sa akin at lulumpuhin kita!..."

10. GeneticsM: "nagmana ka nga sa ama mong walanghya!"

11. WisdomM: "pag umabot ka na ng edad ko, saka mo pa lang maiintindihan ang lahat..."


funny yet true... yeah?!!!

Taken from JUVILS friendster bulletin.

unti unti na kaming iniiwasan ni daddy! hindi na magtatagal at iiwan na niya kami ng tuluyan. kailangan ngayon palang matutunan na ng mga kapatid ko at ni mader tangapin na nagsawa na siya sa amin. na pagod na siya sa amin kabibigay ng mga hinihingi at gusto namin. at tiyak ko rin pagod na yun magtrabaho para sa amin. buong buhay niya kami nalang lagi at siguro, para sa kanya, sarili naman niya ngayon ang pagbibigyan niya. sa isang banda siguro maganda yun, dahil nakita ko naman na kung gaano siya nagsasakripisyo para sa amin. ultimong lumang wallet at relos hindi niya pa mapalitan at pinagtityagaan niya pa yun para lang sa mga luho namin. Pero, hanggang dun nalang ba yun? SAAN BA NAGTATAPOS ANG OBLIGASYON AT RESPONSIBILIDAD NG MGA MAGULANG? pag ba nakatapos na ang kanyang mga anak? pag nabili na ba niya ang mga gusto ng mga anak niya? pag ba may naipindar na rin sila? o pag nag -asawa na rin ba ang mga anak nila? SAAN ba? AKO, hindi ko rin alam. hindi ko pa alam. Siguro kahit papano, may kasalanan at pagkukulang kami sa dada ko, maaaring malaki at hindi na mapagtakpan . pero kung iisipin ko, bumabalik ang SISI sa mga magulang ko kung bakit kami sinanay bigyan ng mga gusto namin. Pagod na ako mag isip. TANGGAP ko na NOON pa. tapos na ang mga nalalaman ko, ang mga naimbestigahan ko, ang mga pinagtakpan ko.

tama na sa mga sakit na nadulot ng mga ito. ilan kong kinikimkim at tinatago na tanging ako lang at si lord at mga taong involve ang nakakaalam.

mahabang pang unawa lamang ang kailangan ng bawat isa.

reyna ng kasablayan

lagot ako sa mommy ko pagdating niya mamaya!

hindi ko alam kung ano magiging reaction niya pag nakita nyang defrosted na yun refrigerator namin, pwede siyang matuwa kasi ngayon ko lang ginawa yun matapos ang mahabang panahon ng katamaran. Pero mas malaki ang posibilidad na magalit siya dahil yun electric fan namin nag-split into two. hahaha.

kasi yun nga lilinisin ko yung ref namin kaya tatapatan ko sana ng electric fan para mabilis matunaw yung iceberg sa loob. habang binibuhat ko, bigla na lang... ay naku po! mabilis ang pangyayari at bigla nalang nabagsak ang ulo ng kawawang electric fan namin. naiwan yung katawan niya sa kamay ko. habang dahan dahan ko tinitingnan ang kuamalas elesi sa mga paa ko.

anak ng OTAP! imbes na kabahan ako ng mga oras na yun eh, natawa ako mag-isa. dahil sa tagal tagal naming gamit yung STAND FAN na yun eh sa isang iglap nakita ko siyang naging WALL FAN. pagkatapos ng ilang minutong state of shock. binalik ko sa katawan yung ulo nung fan. pero tingin ko eh babagsak siya anumang oras. kaya tinalian ko ng plastic na tali. kaya kugn mapansin ng mama ko yun, tiyak tiyak ako.

sa feeling ko kasing mababaliw ako mag-isa sa bahay kanina, bigla ko nalng naisipan mag linis ng ref. at naisipan ko pang dalhin at buhatin yung fan sa harap ng ref. na kinasamaan paalad eh ganun nga ang nangyari. PERO infairness umandar pa naman siya kahit medyo hiwalay na siya sa katawan niya...

HAHAHAHA, hanggang ngayon natatawa pa rin ako. pero mamaya ewan ko kung makakatawa pa ako. lagot!

i have fought the good fight
i have finished the race
i have kept the faith
but, why am i still in malady?

another emotional journey....

non-sensical

It's been a long time since I actually typed in something here. I've been busy lately... actually I was sick. Maybe up to this time I am not used to (agen), applying for work, communicating and sucking up to the many people. Yes, I am not a social being anymore. Therefore I am not human. And what am I? I am a vampire? BWAHHAHAHAHAH! Ok, I'll shut up. ..wait... not yet... I still have some things to say, like how I will offer myself for the happiness of others or for the many to be exact. Sometimes you know, it's better not to care, not to love cause you really get attached and the world without those people you 'learned' to have feelings for would be a lonely place. Am I talking pure nonsense?

Good, because *points above* this is purely nonsense stuff.

But really, after i watched this band performed suddenly the world became so damn colorful that I am starting to wish now that I met him before pa or we became classmate/friend instead of being just a fan. Damn my heart! Damn these feelings! well, ano nga ba ang napapala ko sa kanya? Hell!

wahhh. Pure emotional torture sinking into you! Ok, I’ll stop…one more minute and I’ll suffer from suffocating pain again.



Quote for the day: I can only love him …He can only hurt me…

Question for the day: When does the hurting stop?

music video

have you guys seen kyla's video of til they take my heart away? take notice of the 3 guys in one corner of the resto's.. was that glen that's playing a guitar? yes glen the FEU soccer player...

oh, well isa na namang batchmate na gustong sumikat.. GOODLUCK.

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!

most of the time we find it difficult to tell our FATHER how much we love and care for him.
and on this SPECIAL day, we should not think that merely showering him with most expensive gift. the words we need to utter is the most precious gift they can have.


I LOVE YOU DAD. thanks for sharing your life on us.

comfortably numb...

"Comfortably Numb" done in the BeeGee's Staying Alive style.... kinda Numb meets disco fever.......
A song so true and for me..... one to share tonight,

Sailing through the tunnels

In the morning by yourself

There's a very special feeling

True sensation all is well

If you stand and reach your arms out wide

Close your eyes and try to fly

It's an underground illusion

Tricking you from side to side

We knew all the answers

And we shouted them like anthems

Anxious and suspicious

That God knew how much we cheated

It can't come quickly enough

And now you've spent your life

Waiting for this moment

And when you finally saw it come

It passed you by and left you so defeated

Skyscrapers rise between us

Keeping me from finding you

If the concrete architecture

Dissapeared there'd be so few

Of us left to navigate and

Defend ourselves from the tide

It's an underground illusion

Tricking you from side to side

There's no indication of

What we were meant to be

Sucking up to strangers

Throwing wishes to the sea

It can't come quickly enough

And now you've spent your life

Waiting for this moment

And when you finally saw it come

It passed you by and Left you so defeated

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


"I don't know what to do When we talk I feel like I've died twice " It promises to be a busy week. There are a lot of things the Demons and I have been discussing. Work. Life. Love. Friends, ( Okaaayy. This is definitely one of those days when I feel that the whole world is mad at me. My friends seem so distant and I don't know why. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day)

hey i have a life!!!

I Am Grateful For
......my family
....my friends and loved ones
....a good education
....the house we live in
....the chance to teach little kids as a volunteer (ehemmm)
...my new shirt
...every new opportunity that comes my way

I Wish......
to be a better person....
that I could make a difference in this world someday
....for world peace (cliche as it may sound)
....that innocent people won't have to suffer
....that the cruel people of this world will soon face their punishments
....to find the right guy to love and who will love me in return
...soon. ;)

These are just a few of my gratitudes and wishes. I know of someone who keeps a "gratitude book" and a "wishbook". There, she puts everything she is thankful for, as well as all the wishes and desires of her heart. She also decorates it and puts all these drawings or pictures in order to make it a little more fun. I think I might start my own gratitude & wish book too!

I believe that through this, we'd be able to focus more on the positive side of life. We get to reflect on the blessings we have received, and we look forward to the future by enumerating our wishes, dreams and desires, no matter how small they are.

I suggest you make one too. I'm sure it'll be fun. And I'm sure doing this will keep our minds off worries, even for a while. :) There are just some things that I want to share to only a few selected people. Not that I don't trust the others. It's just that I don't want them to know everything that's on my mind...yet. So I decided to create a new blog. Here I could rant and rave all I want without having second thoughts.

Well, that's it for now. I'll have to start customizing this thing. Later!

(maybe most of you would like to visit my old blog, here's the link:)

She's Too Young

I watched this movie last night at the Hallmark Channel. It's about teenage sex. In the film, a bunch of fourteen year-old kids have been diagnosed with syphillis, a sexually transmitted disease. Some of them have had sex with not one, not two, but almost twenty sex partners.I've always had an open mind about teenage sex. I knew it was wrong and immoral, but I was never against it. I've always believed that because this is a stage wherein kids our age begin to have raging hormones and are not yet fully responsible to handle certain things, sex is hard to control. And like they always say, iba na ang panahon ngayon. Kids are more liberated and "wild".But this movie opened my eyes to different realities.

1. I learned that it is best to wait for the right time before having sex for it may bring many dangers that may ruin our lives forever.

2. I also learned that I should stick to the values my family and my schools have been teaching me. The "right time" is when we are married. The "right partner" is the person we love.

3. Hindi nagbabago ang panahon. Each person just has his or her own values.

Like what I said earlier, teenage sex is still hard to control. There are many factors that influence and play with the minds of teenagers --- TV shows, their environment, song lyrics. This is why I believe that kids should be guided by their parents and the school until he is mature enough to know his responsibilities and limitations. Sad to say though, that not everyone has the privelege to be raised up properly. That's why I am lucky.

Again, we just all have to wait for the right time. And when that right time comes, I'm sure it'll be beautiful and much more exciting. ;)You may catch the movie again at the Hallmark Channel.